Three Qualities of Leadership

I was once asked “What are the 3 qualities that you possess today as a leader which were not present 10 years ago?  ” In 1981, I established an NGO for children with intellectual disability also impacted by poverty. 36 years down the line and with two international   awards I thought I could answer the Question honestly.

These are Listening skills, Humility. Patience. Three qualities I learnt the hard way on my long journey. . I soon realized that going in with ready made plans to “guide “ families with intellectually disabled children how to manage their children was not the answer. The answers had to fit in with their needs, their   hopes   and yes, dreams.

So the first “quality “ I learnt was to listen with genuine love and interest and not as a chore. Stories of anguish when the mother first heard that her baby was intellectually disabled, the struggle to survive with insufficient finances but the increasing needs of the child with intellectual disability. “Should I buy some milk for my other children or take the disabled one to the doctor,?” The lack of knowledge and awareness, “Was this Gods curse? Was it their fault”? More importantly, Is the mother at fault “? I listened to the amazing ways in which the mother overcame anguish , survived the finger pointing  and the discrimination .I was humbled at such  courage, such resilience and above all the   compassionate love that enabled this

Listening needed patience .I learnt to listen .This had to be non judgmental, encouraging and supportive .It could be about anything. Mother in law. Abusive husband, Nasty neighbour. Apart from being therapeutic, solutions to difficult situations came from the mothers themselves and sometimes the family. We acted as the catalysts and this is what helped in building up my NGO, SAMADHAN.  We learnt to be patient, to listen and also never to react but to respond in the best way we could. Very often solutions we would suggest did not fit in with the situations in which they found themselves.  But amazing solutions were always there. We just needed to fit the problem to the solution.

So never REACT but RESPOND, is our matra.

Pramila Balasundaram
Founder
SAMADHAN